Deceptively Yours
by melodygrants
Summary: Love is dangerous and reckless, and can manifest itself in mysterious ways. Mellie Grant knows this better than anyone, and she wishes more than anything that she didn't.
1. Chapter 1: Don't Touch The First Ladies

_"We do not touch the First Ladies."_

The last time Mellie was this happy, she had been a newlywed. She'd been laying in bed with Fitz, the two of them entangled in cold sheets and a warm embrace that left both of them breathless. "I love you." She'd said to him, and she meant it. Yes, it was a political marriage, but that didn't mean that love was unattainable. That was all this feeling could be, right? This sensation that filled her entire body and gave her a sense of being whole, being something more than she'd ever been. She had never felt like this before, never thought she needed to.

Until now.

"I love you too," he whispered back, strong and sure and catching her completely off guard. No surprise, no false sincerity, no awkward silences between smiles for the cameras. They were alone, and he loved her still. And she'd laid her head on his chest and thanked every star in the sky for what she'd been given.

_"We do not touch the First Ladies."_

The last time Mellie had been this terrified was 15 years ago on that fateful night with Fitz's father. In a matter of minutes he had taken her pride and her soul and the rest of her life, all so he could feel powerful again for one fleeting moment.

At the cost of her sanity, not that he cared.

She'd crept into the bedroom that night with bare feet and shaky steps, praying with each careful footfall that her husband wouldn't awaken. But he had, and so she couldn't take a shower, something she'd never wanted to do more in her life. She'd climbed into bed and bit her tongue, trying not to scream with terror as the man she loved wrapped his arms around her in an embrace- so like the one from the night that he had declared his love for her- and slept as peacefully as ever.

So naive, so blind, so blissfully ignorant. So lucky.

_"We do not touch the First Ladies."_

Funny how terror and happiness could mix so readily. Funny how such different feelings could simultaneously fill her with a whirlwind of emotion that made her want to dance and cry and scream. All at once.

_"We do not touch the First Ladies."_

In spite of herself, Mellie laughed. Because Andrew made her feel different than Fitz ever had, even in their first years of marriage. He took the walls she had spent so many years carefully building and had broken them down in one fell swoop with three words: "you deserve more."

No one had ever fought for her before. She and Fitz were matched; clinical, cold, but true. Yes, there was love, but when a child gets a new puppy, he drops the other dog like the years they spent together meant nothing. Olivia Pope was the puppy, and Mellie found herself fighting to save a relationship that lately was beginning to give her whiplash. She had always been the one fighting. Until today.

"I love you, I've always been in love with you." She could tell Andrew had meant it, which was scary until it wasn't. Once she let herself accept it, it was bliss. It was what she'd been missing all along. She'd known it was there- he'd saved her life, for god's sake- she just didn't know how good it would feel.

To be loved so deeply.

So unconditionally.

"We do not touch the First Ladies."

When she'd said this to him, he was ogling over Jackie Kennedy's portrait like a kid in a candy shop. It was adorable. He'd laughed when she said it. "What a shame," he'd replied. "Because I'd really like to kiss you right now."

And Mellie, overcome with emotion like a schoolgirl in love, let him.


	2. Chapter 2: Tell Me Why

"Let's have a discussion about the way things are going, Mels, and you can tell me in what twisted little mindset of yours you thought this was okay."

Like a scolded child. That's the way her husband was talking to her in this moment. Like a toddler who'd drawn on the walls, not like his _wife_. Or, whatever she was to him these days.

"Are you going to let me talk, or do you want me to get you some scotch first?" She replied, her tone so falsely sympathetic she could practically see the sarcasm dripping from her words. She knew she shouldn't be so flippant, but then again, what did she owe him? In this moment, nothing.

She took his brief moment of stunned silence as an opportunity and ran with it.

"Listen up, _baby_. As hard as it might be for you to believe, the double standard you're holding me to is almost laughable. Take a look at where we are right now. The White House, all thanks to your precious Olivia Pope, who you decided to thank for this wonderful opportunity by engaging in a disgusting affair of secrets and lies and quickies in the blue room. So listen to me, and listen good. The way you've been treating me the past five years, ever since the wonderful Olivia waltzed into our lives, I think I have a right to do pretty much anything. But I've been a good girl. I've stood by my man. Until now. I know it's unfortunate for you that someone else loves me because it screws up the strange little claim you feel over me despite the fact that most of your time is either spent hating me or loving another woman, but it happened. It's true. So get off your high horse, Fitz, and think carefully before you decide go off on me like a raging animal."

Mellie had never seen such a look of indignation in her husband's eyes before. He looked positively murderous, ready to spew out some ignorant crap that she was sure would be a valiant but failed attempt to somehow justify his position to her. She looked back at him expectantly, ready for him to make his next move.

Checkmate, baby. I'm ready.

Which is why she never could have prepared herself for what came next.

"You told me you weren't a sexual person." His voice was a dull whisper, which sent a chill down her spine. "After Jerry was born, you said you weren't a sexual person anymore. And I've tried to respect that. I accepted it. Poor Mellie, she can't control her libido. It's not her fault. So imagine my surprise when I discover that poor little Mellie and my Vice Presidential candidate were caught screwing like a pair of horny dogs."

There it was. So simple, so clear. She'd been blind to think he wouldn't use this, the one thing she couldn't explain. It had been fifteen years and she still couldn't talk about it, the reason she had told her husband whom she loved and adored that she wasn't a sexual person anymore. The same reason that she hadn't let him touch her at all for months after, the reason she'd tried to kill herself after Jerry was born. All of these things came back that one night: the reason her husband would win this fight tonight.

Standing here, in the Oval Office, Mellie Grant found herself at a loss for words.

She couldn't tell him. She just couldn't.

So instead of letting free the secret that had haunted her for fifteen years; the secret that had destroyed her love and her marriage and her life; the secret that would make everything make sense if she could only say those three words: _I was raped…_

Instead of saying that, Mellie took a shaky breath, turned around, and walked quickly out of the Oval Office before she vomited all over the presidential carpet.


End file.
